Trust

Maybe this is all taboo
Maybe what they say is true
But only I know how I feel
They can't take away what is real
There is only one way to know for sure
Hold my hand, our secret is secure
Frail, tender hands cradle mine
Fingers cross paths and intertwine
You are keeping me warm tonight
Stay with me love, hold on tight
Wanting so much more than this
May I lure you in for a kiss?
Take down that shield between us
Please let me in, Trust.
Passion always conquers fear
For this to work, we must adhere

My limerick..finally. Enjoy!

If you were to test my pee
How surprised you would be!
Must have had too much to eat
The results are 100% sweet!
Curse ye, Halloween candy!

The Boy with the Boxy Shoes

The pounding beat diminishes and is replaced by a slow, rhythmic melody. Twirling fabrics surround me as I make my way through the human obstacle course. The heat created by bodies makes the dance floor unbearably hot. “It's like an Easy Bake Oven in here!” I think to myself. I make it to the edge of the floor and grab a front row seat. I am a people watcher. Rather than experience something, I would rather be part of an audience, part of the crowd.

An array of brightly colored dresses sweep across the floor under the direction of the men of their choice. Gentlemen embrace their ladies and cradle them in protection. One man whispers softly in his lady's ear. The woman gracefully pushes her head back and a giggle escapes her lips. “This guy is good,” I think to myself. “He has everything. How could someone like him mess up? He probably doesn't have a worry in the world.” I fix my eyes upon the man again. His white tuxedo displays his significant wealth. Light dances off his polished shoes. His appearance is perfect, every detail in place. His confidence comes from something more, though. This man exudes confidence.

Looking at this man, I think about my own self. First, I view my dull, box-like shoes. My eyes trail upward, looking painfully at my out-dated suit. Why can't my appearance resemble how I feel inside. Do I blend into the walls? Inside, I feel like the man who has it all. In reality, I'm the boy in the boxy shoes, pretending to dance with his lady.

Goal

Today I finally decided to weigh myself, suspecting a weight gain. I've gained about ten pounds, and they have got to go! My pants don't fit as well as they did and I want to look and feel my best. I got a free online membership that helps me track my food and calorie intake, my activities, and helps me reach my nutrition and weight goals. Wish me luck! If you have any advice, feel free.

Single mother

Hoping desperately, I stare at our vacant driveway. Surely he will come back. Surely he can't be serious. I observed the space where his bright blue Saturn should be parked. Autumn leaves had fallen all around it, creating an empty concrete rectangle. The space will be filled again soon enough, I'm sure. However, in the back of my mind, I knew the inevitable truth.

Numbing myself is the only way I can cope. Unfortunately, there are times when I can't possibly stop the memories from invading. At first, a sliver of detail from that day will pop into my head. The details begin to multiply, until finally I can make out every scene. The audio becomes very clear, too clear.

I hear the distinct sound of the latches on his suitcase opening. My mind flashes back to the moment. "Where do you plan on going?" I question, my voice shaking.
He continues his silence. The grim look on his face tells me that he is not going to give in.
"Don't go," I demand. "Please. Please don't go." My feet are frozen to the floor. All i can do is watch him pack. Tension fills the space between us and makes the air stagnant and chilled. I feel as if I am a character in a movie, except the emotions are real and there is no happy ending. Continuing to beg him to stay, I drop down to my knees and wrap my arms around his waist. "Please! I will do anything. Things will be better." I tremble. My strong outer shell has shattered, revealing the vulnerable little girl hidden within me.
He snaps back harshly, "Let go of me, Jennifer. You left me emotionally a long time ago and there is no going back."
Silence sweeps through the room, chilling every surface. He pivots his body slowly, his eyes focus on me even as he turns. For a split second, I see the slightest bit of regret in his expression and then it diminishes. I force my face downward. There is no way I can watch him walk through that door. The sound of our screen door screeches as it opens and closes. Then, an unrecognizable whimper escapes my shivering lips. The whimpering grows louder and higher.
"Mom?!" my daughter shakes me. Suddenly, I snap back to reality. "What are we eating for supper, mom?"
"I'll be in the house in a minute," I tell her. She stomps off back into the house, most likely to sneak junk food out of the cabinet. Watching my daughter, I realize that life goes on. I realize that no matter what happened between her father and I, there is nothing more important to me than her.

Photography: My recently found passion

I decided to take a chance and try some amateur photography over the weekend. I was a bit unsure of what the results would be, but boy was it worth it! First I used my mom as a stand in so I could practice certain angles and play with the lightning and scenery. Unfortunately, she did not favor the pictures because she was "not smiling". How picky. I asked her, "Then why didn't you smile, silly?" I think she secretly liked being a 15 minute model though. After my model took her test photos, I started my first photography project. I am attempting to take my boyfriend's senior pictures and I personally think I'm doing a darn good job at it. We didn't get in many pictures that day because we were losing lighting but the ones we did take turned out beautifully. I was surprised at the angles I was getting and fall scenes were breathtaking. Even though I took them in my own backyard, they had the illusion of experience and beauty. It is a relief to have finally found such a deep passion

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a movie based off the short story written by F. Scott Fitzergerald. The story reveals a man that has an unusual problem; he ages in reverse. Benjamin is born resembling a 70 year old man. Not only does his body resemble an old man, but his mind does as well. The movie takes you through the entire life of this unusual character, ending finally at the age of infancy.

As interesting as it sounds, seeing this movie is like throwing away money. The plot was completely unbelievable, as was the emotions. The progressing relationship with Button's wife was on the border of being perversed and unethical. To make viewers try to step into the lives of these characters' minds is just proposterous. Can anyone say jail bait? I say a BIG thumbs down but I will give them an A for effort.

Autumn Spirit

The best time to live in a small town is in autumn. Every year when the season comes along, it reminds me of how beautiful my little southern hometown really is. How is autumn beautiful? Everything is dying around us, right? There is so much more to it than that.

The first sign of the fall season is the changing colors. Seemingly instant, tree leaves light up in hues of red, orange, and yellow. The second sign is the first morning you walk outside and get hit with the relief of the cold, crisp autumn air. Finally, the summer heat wave is over. You hurry back into your house to grab your jacket. Weather in this season is just about perfect. The third sign is waking up in the morning and realizing that it is not morning at all. Morning means that there is light. Morning means that there is warmth. Nevertheless, it is morning.

My personal favorite part of the season is watching the children play outside. Grasping desperately, they try holding on to the last bit of summer warmth. Listen as they make dry, crinkled leaves crack under their feet. Watch their soft hair blow in the wind as they take in the final moments of freedom. Feel their innocent spirits reaching out to feel the last ray of sun that day.

True beauty is not hard to find. Simply look around you. Then again, don't just look with your eyes. Listen to the laughter of children as they crash into craftily constructed piles of leaves. Take in the sweet autumn aromas. Indulge in seasonal treats by topping off a scrumptious slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Invite the comforting cotton materials of soft, warm sweaters to your wardrobe. It is as simple as that. Beauty can even be found without leaving the very comforts of your own front door.

Lightning Loops

My hero.......Ahh :)

When most people sit down to ponder who their personal heroes are, most faces that cross their minds are those of much older role models. Most don't realize how peers can sometimes be the biggest heroes of all. My best friend growing up has to be my biggest hero and role model.



It all started on my very first day of 6th grade. I cautiously walked up the steep stairs into the school bus. On the verge of choosing one of the empty seats, a scrawny, freckled, frizzy-headed boy offered me the seat in front of him. At first, I was unsure. The kid seemed a little dorky. At that age, I wasn't the deepest person. This scrawny, freckled, frizzy-headed boy's name was Tanner Heath May. Nevertheless, this day was the beginning of a friendship that would grow into the best relationship I have had with the opposite sex thus far. Remembering back to that day, I am so proud of my little Tanner for coming so far.



He and I lived on the outskirts of our tiny podunk town in southern Indiana within walking distance from each other. Tanner would walk over to my house after school several times during the week. We stuck up for one another and whenever anything interesting happened he always called. We were always together and in some ways, I took this for granted. Now that he is off with the city folk at Franklin College, I realize that I can't ever replace our friendship. However when I start to miss my Tanner, I just remember that true friends are always connected, even when they are apart.



Tanner didn't have the greatest childhood. His relationship with his parents was poor. Growing up, he didn't have the stability of a supportive family. Sometimes I wonder if this is why he pushed himself so hard and kept so busy. I never questioned his seemingly distant relationship with his family. Whenever he was upset about it, I would crack a joke in an attempt to help him forget. Even though Tanner came from a dysfunctional household, he never let it hold him back from becoming everything he wanted to be.



Name any club or sport in our high school and there is a huge chance that Tanner was involved in it in some way. Once he entered high school, our after school "hang out sessions" didn't happen quite so much. To name a few, Tanner was involved in choir, band, Spanish club, B.P.A., graduation committee, prom committee, S.A.D.D., national honor society, yearbook staff, track, swimming, key club, tennis, student government, and the hometown competiveness youth council during high school. I remember the days that he didn't have any meeting, practice, or game after school and he was simply shocked. Thinking back, I don't think he wanted free-time. It meant that he wouldn't have an excusable reason for being away from home. Also, Tanner knew from the beginning that he would not be able to afford college by himself. From the very first day of high school he started preparing to impress colleges and scholarship committees. Constantly worrying about every detail, Tanner was almost obsessive about perfecting his every move in school. I had to calm him down several times when he would frantically run to me, boiling over with emotion about a B+. His ambition, although overwhelming, is something I've always looked up to. A successful person always strives to be their best, and I saw that quality in him very early.



At the end of his senior year, Tanner won the Eli Lily Scholarship. The scholarship awards High School students a full ride to college. When Tanner told me he got the long-awaited phone call, I was so proud that I felt tears start to grip the edges of my eyes. In that moment, I realized what a transformation my scrawny schoolboy friend had made, from a twiggy, auburn-headed boy to a strong, intelligent young man. Put simply, Tanner Heath May is a rags to riches story.



For these reasons, Tanner is truly my personal hero. He inspires me to strive for success and he reminds me to be grateful for everything I have. Altogether, any Hoosier could consider Tanner May a role model. He may not have the wisdom of elderly advice or the power of persuasive politicians but he has the ambition of a young man that will not cave in to failure without a fight.



For a scholarship of $2,000. Leave as is or more background information?

Am I ready?

Am I ready? Am I prepared for what is ahead of me? What a coincidence that someone would ever ask me that. Of course I've been asked this; I'm a Senior in high school! I have been asked this question several times. Are you ready for what is in store for you? Let me reflect. I continually ask myself this question more than once a day. Am I ready? Am I ready to enter the world of college? Am I ready to enter the real world? I don't think I'll ever really know until I get there. Will I have what it takes to be on my own? Well, I'll be frank about this. If I don't have what it takes, I better figure it out because I don't have a choice. I have been preparing for the inevitable "moving out" stage of my life for years, even if I don't know it.

Personally though, I think the educational system should be preparing us for these real life situations. They should implement more programs that help us plan our futures. Instead of a career planning class that makes us research several different careers, they should have a career planning class where we actually job shadow. How am I supposed to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life by reading an article on paper. Maybe if the educational system had spent more time and money preparing us students for real life, I wouldn't be spending my time worrying about making an abrupt career decision.