Crush

Entry 33
Crush. The first thing I noticed about her was her entoxicating voice. Realizing that I was watching the movement of her full, luscious lips, I turned away quickly. I can't get caught.
Crush. I couldn't help myself. Moments after turning away, I swiveled around to face her. Light danced across her face and her eyes sparkled. She brushed her long, deep brown hair out of her face and it cascaded down her back. Seeing the woman's tiny, delicate hands made me want to caress her soft, warm skin. "Samantha, get back to work!" my boss warned me. I felt heat rush to my face and my cheeks turned pink. Crush.

Entry 34
Crush. What is wrong with me? Yesterday I felt like one of those creepy men that stare at women like pieces of meat. That is not what it is like for me though. The feelings she gives me are purely innocent. When I look at her, all I can see is how extraordinarily beautiful she is. The overwhelming urge to watch her pulls me in and I can't look away. I never thought I would get caught.
Crush. Today at work, I tried to simply keep to myself. Of course, usually on the days you attempt this, you fail miserably. This morning I was minding my own business when I heard the clicking of heels across the floor. The clicking was headed straight toward me. Slowly, I turned to see who was coming. There she was. My eyes followed the soft curves of her body. The aroma of sweet perfume surrounded her.
Her smooth, sensual voice called out my name. "Samantha, was there a reason you were staring at me yesterday?" The tone of her voice was hinting at insecurity. When I didn't respond right away, she whispered in my ear. "Did I have something on my face or food in my teeth?" Struggling for words, I finally managed to speak.
"No hun," I assured her. "I was just trying to figureout where you bought your outfit." She smiled, relieved.
"Well gee, you could of just asked." she said shyly. "I'm actually a thrift store shopper." The expression on her face relaxed.
"I will just ask next time," I giggled nervously. "Did I make you worry?"
"Yes! I really thought I had food wedged between my teeth or something!" she replied. "I better get back to work though. Wouldn't want to get you trouble!" She strolled back to her desk, clicking her heels on the floor the entire way there. Crush.

Entry 35
Crush. Maybe I should just tell her how I feel. This is all so new to me. Heterosexual people have it easy. They don't have to fret about others' reactions or whether or not a person "swings that way." Why does this have to be so difficult? Maybe one day I will be able to confess my attraction to her; maybe not. All I know is that I want to take things slow. The first step in building a relationship is friendship. Crush.